Thursday, September 20, 2012

Stupid Blue Turf, Pt. 2

Don't know if Boise State's offside penalty on the second half kickoff qualifies as an "auspicious" start for BYU, but certainly better than a penalty on BYU.  Weird to see penalties be called so symmetrically.  Penalties on both kickoffs to open the halves, and ineligible receiver penalties on both opening drives in the first half.


Not much more embarrassing than watching a defensive lineman groping a touchdown out of the air and then getting a good look at his backside as he lumbers into the endzone.  Only thing that could make this worse would be if the lineman was Canadian.  Oh wait.  Hang head in shame.

Throwing a pick to a DB is an improvement over throwing a pick to a lineman, right?  Can we call this progress?  Hang head in shame.  Again.

Boise State player #4.  Don't know who you are, but way to rock the mustache.

If BYU's defense bails out the offense one more time, they might be getting a call to join the Obama adminsitration.  I know, I know, bailouts started under Bush.  But it's just not as fun to take shots at a president who is out of office.  Unless you're Obama.

Fumble on the 1 yard line.  Not even Obama can bail the offense out of this one.  Last one, I promise.  Wish I could say the same for the turnovers.  My chiropractor says all the head hanging in shame is weakening my spine.  Might explain the offensive performance.

Big fourth down stand.  (Apologies to Obama.  I'll never doubt him again.  For real this time, last one)  Time for the offense to turn it over again.

Kyle Van Noy.  Known in our household as "The Scary One."

Let's punt it on third down.

Hmmm. New offensive strategy.  Mock the lineage and weight of Boise State's defensive players to induce them to commit personal fouls.  Advance the ball without snapping it.  Best shot we got.

Seriously? The option? Again? Learned we nothing from last week?  If the offense can't even get a first down, the defense should consider just going on strike.  Make the offense stay out there and play a little defense.  See how they like it.  They can hold up signs and form a picket line on the sideline.  Maybe Christian Bale will be their reluctant leader (with a hidden dream and a tender side that he is hesitant to reveal).  They can burst forth into harmonized and choreographed dance numbers.  Now that's entertainment.

Anybody wondering what James Lark looks like right about now?  He is the drop back, pocket passing quarterback that BYU originally recruited over Riley Nelson.  Can't be much worse.  Seriously, quarterback position at BYU used to seem like the model of reloading rather than rebuilding.  Now it's a creaky carousel.

Random thing I just found out: Robert Bolt wrote Lawrence of Arabia and Man for All Seasons.  Either one of those movies should raise him to "legendary" status, but both of them?  Pretty incredible.

Strong but inaccurate throws to open receivers.  Shades of Jake Heaps.  If he's watching this, he must be feeling a little like it's poetic justice.

Two completed passes! Frabjous Day!

Taysom Hill sure does love to audible.  Don't know what he's seeing, but it worked on that option.  I have mixed feelings when the option play works.  Naturally, it's always happy when a play goes for good yardage.  On the other hand, every time an option works, I worry that Doman is going to fall in love with the option, and I just can't see the option as a consistent, viable option for BYU's offense.

That was a good looking drive.  Not perfect, obviously, but looked really good.

2 pts?  Hmmm.....

Looks right now like Boise can just run out the clock for the 1 point win.  Sad to say, seems like the only surprises left for BYU football are not whether they are going to win or lose, but the exact form that the Cougars are going to self immolate.

Final thoughts.  Questionable coaching decisions.  Or rather, mostly just the one questionable decision to go for two.  Maybe Bronco just has the kickers in purgatory right now, and they'll be let out next week.  Maybe the defense was tired and he didn't have confidence in their ability to play in overtime.  Or maybe he just lost patience.  Quarterback controversy has a nice alliterative ring to it, but quarterback desperation may be the more precise term.  Does the coaching staff just call this an off game for Nelson?  An off couple of games?  Do they hand over the reins to Hill?  He looks "tough and gritty," but we've seen that before.  He gets happy feet, and doesn't have confidence in his arm (although he did make a couple of good throws on that scoring drive).  As the announcers announced, it is a crying shame to be wasting talented receivers like Hoffman and Apo with a quarterback that can't get the ball to them.  Lark is supposedly second on the depth chart.  Does he finally get his chance after all these years of backup duty?  The offensive line wasn't quite the sieve that it was against Utah, but it wasn't great either.  Haven't we seen this movie before?  Talented, aggressive, well coached and schemed defense keeps BYU in games but an incompetent offense keeps letting them down, with a struggling quarterback as the focal point.  Sometimes I just wish that BYU could have picked a new storyline to lose to.  At least we'd be losing in new and exciting ways.  Although I guess we got some new and exciting ways to lose tonight.

The end on the brightest light of an otherwise dim outing, how about that defense.  Looked positively intimidating.  Definitely fun to watch them.  Maybe the defensive captains can have a word with the offensive captains.  In a dark alley.  With lots of meaningful, vaguely threatening stares.  Put the fear of God and/or Kyle Van Noy in them.

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