Don't know if Boise State's offside penalty on the second half kickoff qualifies as an "auspicious" start for BYU, but certainly better than a penalty on BYU. Weird to see penalties be called so symmetrically. Penalties on both kickoffs to open the halves, and ineligible receiver penalties on both opening drives in the first half.
Not much more embarrassing than watching a defensive lineman groping a touchdown out of the air and then getting a good look at his backside as he lumbers into the endzone. Only thing that could make this worse would be if the lineman was Canadian. Oh wait. Hang head in shame.
Throwing a pick to a DB is an improvement over throwing a pick to a lineman, right? Can we call this progress? Hang head in shame. Again.
Boise State player #4. Don't know who you are, but way to rock the mustache.
If BYU's defense bails out the offense one more time, they might be getting a call to join the Obama adminsitration. I know, I know, bailouts started under Bush. But it's just not as fun to take shots at a president who is out of office. Unless you're Obama.
Fumble on the 1 yard line. Not even Obama can bail the offense out of this one. Last one, I promise. Wish I could say the same for the turnovers. My chiropractor says all the head hanging in shame is weakening my spine. Might explain the offensive performance.
Big fourth down stand. (Apologies to Obama. I'll never doubt him again. For real this time, last one) Time for the offense to turn it over again.
Kyle Van Noy. Known in our household as "The Scary One."
Let's punt it on third down.
Hmmm. New offensive strategy. Mock the lineage and weight of Boise State's defensive players to induce them to commit personal fouls. Advance the ball without snapping it. Best shot we got.
Seriously? The option? Again? Learned we nothing from last week? If the offense can't even get a first down, the defense should consider just going on strike. Make the offense stay out there and play a little defense. See how they like it. They can hold up signs and form a picket line on the sideline. Maybe Christian Bale will be their reluctant leader (with a hidden dream and a tender side that he is hesitant to reveal). They can burst forth into harmonized and choreographed dance numbers. Now that's entertainment.
Anybody wondering what James Lark looks like right about now? He is the drop back, pocket passing quarterback that BYU originally recruited over Riley Nelson. Can't be much worse. Seriously, quarterback position at BYU used to seem like the model of reloading rather than rebuilding. Now it's a creaky carousel.
Random thing I just found out: Robert Bolt wrote Lawrence of Arabia and Man for All Seasons. Either one of those movies should raise him to "legendary" status, but both of them? Pretty incredible.
Strong but inaccurate throws to open receivers. Shades of Jake Heaps. If he's watching this, he must be feeling a little like it's poetic justice.
Two completed passes! Frabjous Day!
Taysom Hill sure does love to audible. Don't know what he's seeing, but it worked on that option. I have mixed feelings when the option play works. Naturally, it's always happy when a play goes for good yardage. On the other hand, every time an option works, I worry that Doman is going to fall in love with the option, and I just can't see the option as a consistent, viable option for BYU's offense.
That was a good looking drive. Not perfect, obviously, but looked really good.
2 pts? Hmmm.....
Looks right now like Boise can just run out the clock for the 1 point win. Sad to say, seems like the only surprises left for BYU football are not whether they are going to win or lose, but the exact form that the Cougars are going to self immolate.
Final thoughts. Questionable coaching decisions. Or rather, mostly just the one questionable decision to go for two. Maybe Bronco just has the kickers in purgatory right now, and they'll be let out next week. Maybe the defense was tired and he didn't have confidence in their ability to play in overtime. Or maybe he just lost patience. Quarterback controversy has a nice alliterative ring to it, but quarterback desperation may be the more precise term. Does the coaching staff just call this an off game for Nelson? An off couple of games? Do they hand over the reins to Hill? He looks "tough and gritty," but we've seen that before. He gets happy feet, and doesn't have confidence in his arm (although he did make a couple of good throws on that scoring drive). As the announcers announced, it is a crying shame to be wasting talented receivers like Hoffman and Apo with a quarterback that can't get the ball to them. Lark is supposedly second on the depth chart. Does he finally get his chance after all these years of backup duty? The offensive line wasn't quite the sieve that it was against Utah, but it wasn't great either. Haven't we seen this movie before? Talented, aggressive, well coached and schemed defense keeps BYU in games but an incompetent offense keeps letting them down, with a struggling quarterback as the focal point. Sometimes I just wish that BYU could have picked a new storyline to lose to. At least we'd be losing in new and exciting ways. Although I guess we got some new and exciting ways to lose tonight.
The end on the brightest light of an otherwise dim outing, how about that defense. Looked positively intimidating. Definitely fun to watch them. Maybe the defensive captains can have a word with the offensive captains. In a dark alley. With lots of meaningful, vaguely threatening stares. Put the fear of God and/or Kyle Van Noy in them.
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Stupid Blue Turf, Pt. 1
If I were to script an inauspicious start for BYU this game, it might go something like this:
Penalty on the opening kickoff.
Sack and fumble on the opening snap.
Tackle for loss (Trying to run the option. Again. Because we had so much success with the option last week).
Riley Nelson scrambles for a useless gain on third and long instead of running a pass play.
Inauspicious.
Memo to Brandon Doman: the reason that it is predictable for offenses to run a long pass play on third and long is that everyone knows it gives you the best chance to stay on the field. Sure, you can try to surprise them by running a quarterback draw. Do you know what would surprise them even more? Taking a knee. Spiking the football. Running the quarterback around like a chicken with its head cut off. Actually, Doman seems to call that last one with a surprising degree of regularity.
Maybe we got the B team for announcers this game. Hoffman didn't miss the catch because the defender disrupted his route and threw of the timing of the play. If that had been the reason, the throw would have been out in front of Hoffman instead of over his head. Surely Nelson didn't think that Hoffman would suddenly be six inches taller. If the defender had managed to disrupt Hoffman's height, that would be something to write home about. Precision timing routes aren't exactly Riley Nelson's forte. Hoffman missed the catch because Nelson threw it over his head, not in front of him.
Nice to see Ross Apo get a touch, even if it goes for naught. Officials might have missed that call.
One of the announcers (I can't quite tell them apart) just called Chris Peterson crazy for faking a punt inside his own 20. First of all, Chris Petersen eats crazy for breakfast. It's why he's managed to create a perennial football powerhouse in Boise, Idaho. Second, given BYU's offense production so far in this game, and their abysmal kicking performance last week, it looks more like a fairly reasonable calculated risk to me.
Fairly reasonably calculated risk pays off for Petersen. INT. "Grotesquely underthrown." Great description. I take back the B team crack. For now.
This is not a political post, but have to get in on this Obama commercial. They tell us straight up: " In 2008, 4.4 million jobs lost. Under Obama, 4.6 million jobs have been created." Leaving aside the underlying policy debates, a net gain of .2 million jobs over four years is not exactly a flashy number. May want to rethink the presentation on that one.
More personal fouls. Keep your eyes on the player you're going to tackle. If the ball is already gone, decide not to kill the receiver.
Boise State burns a time out to avoid a substitution foul. On third and seventeen, maybe just take the foul and conserve the time out. If you can call up a play for seventeen yards, you can call one up for twenty two.
Going for it again on fourth. Either Petersen hates his special teams, or he's been reading a little too much of Gregg Easterbrook.
Or, again, he's just seen BYU pretend to play offense. Another turnover. That's how you bounce back from a gut wrenching loss. Give the ball to the other team as many times as possible so that your eventual comeback is that much more dramatic.
Seriously, what did Petersen's kicker do to merit this exile to the bench? Impiety and Corrupting the Youth of Boise? Selling [Boise] State secrets to the communists? Suggesting a nice natural green for the playing field (Although my understanding is that, in Boise, this actually constitutes heresy and is punished by burning at a giant potato in the shape of a wooden stake. So maybe the kicker is getting off easy).
The Big Question going into halftime: Are the defenses that good, or are the offenses really this inept?
Penalty on the opening kickoff.
Sack and fumble on the opening snap.
Tackle for loss (Trying to run the option. Again. Because we had so much success with the option last week).
Riley Nelson scrambles for a useless gain on third and long instead of running a pass play.
Inauspicious.
Memo to Brandon Doman: the reason that it is predictable for offenses to run a long pass play on third and long is that everyone knows it gives you the best chance to stay on the field. Sure, you can try to surprise them by running a quarterback draw. Do you know what would surprise them even more? Taking a knee. Spiking the football. Running the quarterback around like a chicken with its head cut off. Actually, Doman seems to call that last one with a surprising degree of regularity.
Maybe we got the B team for announcers this game. Hoffman didn't miss the catch because the defender disrupted his route and threw of the timing of the play. If that had been the reason, the throw would have been out in front of Hoffman instead of over his head. Surely Nelson didn't think that Hoffman would suddenly be six inches taller. If the defender had managed to disrupt Hoffman's height, that would be something to write home about. Precision timing routes aren't exactly Riley Nelson's forte. Hoffman missed the catch because Nelson threw it over his head, not in front of him.
Nice to see Ross Apo get a touch, even if it goes for naught. Officials might have missed that call.
One of the announcers (I can't quite tell them apart) just called Chris Peterson crazy for faking a punt inside his own 20. First of all, Chris Petersen eats crazy for breakfast. It's why he's managed to create a perennial football powerhouse in Boise, Idaho. Second, given BYU's offense production so far in this game, and their abysmal kicking performance last week, it looks more like a fairly reasonable calculated risk to me.
Fairly reasonably calculated risk pays off for Petersen. INT. "Grotesquely underthrown." Great description. I take back the B team crack. For now.
This is not a political post, but have to get in on this Obama commercial. They tell us straight up: " In 2008, 4.4 million jobs lost. Under Obama, 4.6 million jobs have been created." Leaving aside the underlying policy debates, a net gain of .2 million jobs over four years is not exactly a flashy number. May want to rethink the presentation on that one.
More personal fouls. Keep your eyes on the player you're going to tackle. If the ball is already gone, decide not to kill the receiver.
Boise State burns a time out to avoid a substitution foul. On third and seventeen, maybe just take the foul and conserve the time out. If you can call up a play for seventeen yards, you can call one up for twenty two.
Going for it again on fourth. Either Petersen hates his special teams, or he's been reading a little too much of Gregg Easterbrook.
Or, again, he's just seen BYU pretend to play offense. Another turnover. That's how you bounce back from a gut wrenching loss. Give the ball to the other team as many times as possible so that your eventual comeback is that much more dramatic.
Seriously, what did Petersen's kicker do to merit this exile to the bench? Impiety and Corrupting the Youth of Boise? Selling [Boise] State secrets to the communists? Suggesting a nice natural green for the playing field (Although my understanding is that, in Boise, this actually constitutes heresy and is punished by burning at a giant potato in the shape of a wooden stake. So maybe the kicker is getting off easy).
The Big Question going into halftime: Are the defenses that good, or are the offenses really this inept?
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Brave New Blog
The Wall Street journal ran an obituary not long ago for Christopher Hitchens. Actually, it was a review of Hitchens' final work, "Mortality," but in view of the subject matter of the book (Hitchen's impending demise) and in view of subsequent events (namely, Hitchens actual demise), it read an awful lot like an obituary. The headline was "A Wit Rages Before the Abyss." I liked that idea. It kind of reminded of Lt. Dan, laughing into the hurricane, or Slim Pickens riding the A-Bomb into World War III. I think that's kind of what a blog is. I can rant and rave into the cyber-abyss of the world wide web, pretend that someone is actually listening, and then go to sleep at night with a comfortably inflated sense of my own self-importance. Genius. This whole internet thing is great. Hats of to you, Al Gore.
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